After having been on POF for a while and participating some and watching for the most part- thinking back something hit me. Everyone is looking for this perfect other person to enter their unhappy and flawed life that will magically make everything instantly better. I will agree there is someone for everyone out there; you just have to find them.
But there is no perfect person that will suddenly make life become all justified. I mean it’s just like anything else in life, would it be as rewarding if it was something easy to do? The easiest answer is that it would not be anywhere close. It comes down to something only turns out as well as the effort you put into it. Plain and simple. It seems that certain people don’t want to admit they have faults. Whatever has gone wrong in their life has always been someone else’s fault. Then they wonder why they are still alone and hurting.
It seems that most people on POF want someone else that is going to come into their life and make everything bad that’s happened to them just go away. That this other mystery person also holds all the answers to their future and financial issues. Not to mention the fact that this person will automatically and immediately love them for everything they are at that moment. Not to mention what they will become after all these solutions have come thru from the other person.
Reality is more along the lines of the fact that everyone has strengths and weaknesses in their lives and personalities. The key to making a relation work is finding that other person that offsets your personality- both the good and bad points. And that you accent their strengths and weaknesses as well. So that there is a sense of balance within you two at a natural level.
Otherwise, as you continue to get to know each other and the relation grows- it gets stale because of a lack of commonality. Meaning that besides the weakness and strengths and differences, there is nothing else to keep you together. After each other’s habits are no longer cute, but more of the lines of oh they did THAT again. You will eventually have to rely on the mental and personality compatibilities for the relation to continue to work. It’s not fun having to admit that factor, but it is a fact for a relation to last and be long term. Long term meaning more than just a year or so.
I guess what it comes down to is people want relations to be an easy thing that just happens. And like the rest of life, anything worth having comes with a good bit of work. It takes work, dedication, passion, determination, and most of all mutual love. And sometimes that means telling your “friends” that you appreciate their point of view, but you are doing what is best for yourself. It doesn’t mean to not listen, but it does mean you have to remember that they only see the outside and what you tell or convey to them about the relation. Then after all of that is considered you can decide if that’s how you wish to spend your life or not.
